Investor Commits Suicide Blaming Forex Experts
19 July 2013
Mumbai: An ordinary investor who used to invest after listening to so-called experts on various business channels committed suicide.
Champak bhai Ghadiali who had placed bullish bets on Indian Rupee after listening the forecasts by dozens of “Experts” on business TV channels like CNBC TV 18, Zee Business and such like, had lost all his savings because the rupee has been running totally contrary to the predictions of all those experts.
In his suicide note he squarely blamed the so-called forex experts. “They used to say the rupee will strengthen when it was at 39; then at 44 they said the same. The experts continued to maintain their extreme bullishness at 47-48 then even more shamelessly at 52-53. Nobody ever predicted that it will fall like a Z-group scrip. I lost all my life’s earnings..my peace of mind. I just want that these pseudo-experts stop giving their useless price forecasts.”
Mumbai Police was actively going through the suicide note running into 6 pages, which also lists all bullish predictions made by various brokerage houses, research heads, and chief economists working for banks and corporates.
Some brokerages have countered the allegation, saying the police was unnecessarily engaging itself into something that was unfortunate but largely the investor’s his own doing. However the Mumbai Police disagreed. The Police Commissioner said the same stance was adapted by the police team during the unfortunate suicide of actress Jiah Khan.
He also cautioned the media and the brokerage houses to restrain themselves from going overboard while doling out bullish views. “Most intelligent people by now know that whatever forecasts are doled out on business TV channels are not worth the electricity that is spent on telecasting them.” Said a Mumbai Police spokesperson. “However many simpletons do take them for real and fall prey to their recommendations.”
Taking a cue from the incidence the RBI meanwhile has come out with a stricture restricting forex forecasts on media. A central bank statement issued today clearly spelled the norms. “From now on any TV channel while telecasting the forecasts of forex experts, researcher of brokerage houses, independent researchers, and wealth managers will have to declare upfront how many forecasts by that person/institution during past 5 years have actually come true.”
A TV channel reacted that on that score not one expert will ever be able to forecast about rupee, because every so-called “forex expert” has been consistently wrong with his/her predictions about the rupee. Everybody has been consistently bullish about the rupee while the rupee has been on a skid ever since 2008.
The Association of Rupee Experts Commenting on TV, ARCET, said in a statement that they were saddened about the suicide of Mr. Ghadiali but at the same time they can’t shoulder the blame. “The chief culprits are the financial managers of the country. They dole out subsidies, they come out with farmers’ loan waivers schemes, they decide crazy subsidies on petrol and diesel, they come out with stuff like food security bill…and when the fiscal deficit goes out of control and the currency takes a beating, we are blamed. This is not fair.”
“Frankly we ourselves are surprised by the rupee’s fall. And nobody must forget that we ourselves are invested in rupee dominated assets. In spite of having the Sensex at 19000, our real rupee-adjusted gains are negative. Having put up with the losses, the blame is the last thing we can accept.”
Meanwhile a brokerage house today came out with a rupee forecast that clearly seemed to be have been prepared in such a way that it would be impossible to blame it for any direction the rupee took. The report claimed that if the rupee falls to 62 then it may slide further to 65, but if it stops short of 61.50 then it may consolidate there till it decides whether to go in the direction of 60 or 62. In case the rupee simply begins to strengthen from the current 60 level and goes to 58 levels, then expect it to go to 55 levels, but in case it stops before 58.50 then again there might be a prolonged consolidation.
When Funnynomics contacted the researcher who prepared the report said his sole objective was not to get blamed for some suicide.
(Disclaimer: This news report is pure fiction, a produce of fertile imagination, and none of the people, organisations, NGO, politicians, office bearers, or government officials mentioned on this page have anything to do with this topic, subject or report. Entire fabrication is meant for simple fun.)
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