RBI Yagna Supports the RUPEE
31 Aug 2013
Mumbai/New Delhi: For many who felt the sudden reversal of the rupee on 29 August 2013 was nothing short of divine intervention may be surprised to know it probably was.
Sources said that RBI did perform a Yagna to support the rupee on that very day. It is notable that the rupee had begun crashing right from 1st week August and fell by a record 264 paise against the dollar to close at 68.83 on Wednesday, 28th August, prompting the RBI to go in for an emergency Yagna on Thursday.
The ceremony was conducted by a team of 51 priests from Varanasi, Kanchi, and Karnaprayag. All the four deputy governors of RBI were present during the entire course of yagna, while Dr. Duvvuri Subbarao participated off and on, owing to wild fluctuations in the rupee market.
Entire ceremony was performed under the direct guidance of Kanchi seer. Sixteen prayers of Bhagwad Gita were recited, followed by 5500 chants of Ganapati mantra, 1100 chants of Gayatri mantra, and 7700 chants of Mahamrityunjaya mantra.
During the yagna each deputy governor gave aahuti of 60 sandalwood sticks each, in a symbolic request to the high heavens to maintain the exchange rate of the rupee at 60 at the least. They were followed by 60 junior employees of the RBI, each offering a ladleful of pure crystalline ghee to the agnikund.
Sources said the number of 60 was chosen with great deliberation among the 4 deputy governors as well as the Governor-in-waiting Mr. Raghuram Rajan. Though 60 is quite a high exchange rate for a currency that was considered UNDERVALUED at 39 just a few years back, it was felt that if the rupee stays at this level, it would already be a miracle - given the mounting CAD, astronomically high fiscal deficit, monetary burden of newly passed Food Security Bill, and worsening confidence of foreign investors.
Soon after the recital of hymns of Rigveda and Yajurveda was completed, Dr. Duvvuri Subbarao joined the ceremony and hurriedly offered the aahuti of 93 pieces of sugarcane, symbolizing the mortals’ request to the heavens to “maintain” the rupee exchange rate of 93 against the British Pound.
Consequently 4 deputy governors showered 78 rose petals symbolizing “hoped-for” rupee-euro exchange rate.
This was followed by more rounds of aarti, puja, hymn recital, and finally pushpanjali. Vedic chants went high in the air exactly at a time when the rupee was at its historic lowest of 69.15 on MCX. The sound of conch shells and cymbals resonated the skies around the RBI headquarters, as if frightening the rupee bears. Sensex too jumped by over 400 points.
Soon after the yagna was over, the RBI sent the feelers to the market and the media that the RBI had intervened in the forex market, as well as opened a new window to sell dollars directly to oil PSUs.
However the successful completion of this yagna doesn’t mean that the rupee will never show weakness. The head priest was not exactly happy with the events of the day. He said though the religious team had done its job to the perfection, the RBI people had not been upto the task during the ceremony. “Throughout the ceremony, all the four deputy governors had their eyes glued to their smartphones which were displaying the market movements of the rupee. They were clearly disturbed when the rupee hit the low of 69.15. Their soul was not in chanting the mantras. This is sacrilege...irreverence of the highest order…this kind of behaviour shows that though they were bodily present there, their mind was wandering. Probably some of them didn’t believe in divine powers. I would not be surprised if the rupee tumbles again.”
Unperturbed by this, the sources claim that the RBI officers are for the time being feeling “cool”. A reason for this coolness is that now they have seen the miracles of the high powers themselves.
“The way the rupee gathered strength from 69.15 to 67.14 within three hours has opened our eyes.” Said a RBI officer on condition of anonymity. “We have realised that rupee from now on can only be controlled by god and not by us. Increasing duty on gold, buying gold from citizens, opening separate dollar window for Oil PSUs, or creating forex swaps is basically all good text for media.”
“And that’s why now we are planning an even grander yagna, this time in Delhi on the banks of sacred Yamuna - in the presence of none less than the presiding trinity of Indian economic landscape: P. Chidambaram, Montek Singh Ahluwalia, and Raghuram Rajan. That yagna will overcome the lacunae of this one.....and hopefully push the rupee back to 60 level.”
Meanwhile Baba Ramdev reacted sharply to the news of RBI yagna. He said that the government did not order pure ghee from his Divya Pharmacy because of political vendetta. “We will protest against this on the banks of Yamuna.”
(Disclaimer: This news report is pure fiction, a produce of fertile imagination, and none of the people, organisations, NGO, politicians, office bearers, or government officials mentioned on this page have anything to do with this topic, subject or report. Entire fabrication is meant for simple fun.)
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RBI's RUPEE SUPPORT Yagna may not have been real, but India has long tradition of performing Yagnas for various reasons. Here are a few reports from the media:
A 'yagna' to please the rain gods
Congress leader holds yagna for Rahul Gandhi's marriage
Modi's ministers perform rain 'yagna' in G'nagar
VHP organises yagna for Ram temple at Ayodhya
Women Congress workers perform Yagna for Sonia Gandhi's recovery
Mamata's supporters hold yagna for her early recovery