World Leaders Found Sleeping During PM's Speech
07 Sept 2013
St. Petersburg, Russia: Prime Minister Manmohan Singh scored a major victory in global diplomatic relations yesterday when his speech was judged as the “least controversial” and "most agreeable".
The main reason for this was not that it contained something that was path-breaking or extraordinary, but because it made almost every G20 leader fall asleep.
Eyewitnesses say that leaders were seen reclining in their seat as soon as the name of PM Manmohan Singh as the next speaker was announced.
As Mr. Manmohan Singh emphasised that whatever action is required in Syria should be within the UN framework, US President Obama was stretching his body.
When Mr. Singh told the leaders that one needs to be certain what has happened in Syria even if there is some probability of use of chemical weapons, even the UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon was unable to keep his usual attentive posture and was seen yawning wildly.
By the time the Prime Minister told his fellow G20 leaders that India condemns the use of chemical weapons whether in Syria or anywhere in the world, Russian President Vladimir Putin was almost asleep.
This was a shock, given that PM’s statement was supportive of Mr. Putin’s stand on the problem.
Equally shocking was the audible snore released by Italian Premier Enrico Letta - released within a second of Prime Minister making it clear that whatever action is required in Syria should be under the auspices of the UN and not outside its framework.
Not less startling was the response of the press. Most of them left the hall the moment Mr. Singh rose to speak.
The Bloomberg cameraman switched off his camera the moment Mr. Singh began his speech, and muttered “time for coffee”.
When Funnynomics correspondent asked him the reason, he said he had clear instructions to record only those leaders whose opinion matters to the subject.
The Reuters team members were even more vocal. “Who cares about India’s opinions on Syria issue...man? India is a pygmy in international relations... not bothered about by even its tiny neighbours.”
The Associated Press correspondent said everybody would have listened Indian PM more attentively had he said something about the falling rupee or various gang-rapes in his country or , but Syria..baah..?
“Man...this chap can make cool money by selling the video recording of his speech to treat the sleep deprived.” Said a CNN reporter who was standing alongside. “I’d myself pay a dollar a clip.”
(Disclaimer: This news report is pure fiction, a produce of fertile imagination, and none of the people, organisations, NGO, politicians, office bearers, or government officials mentioned on this page have anything to do with this topic, subject or report. Entire fabrication is meant for simple fun.)
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